Shades of black under tired brown eyes
Gravity's force makes it harder to rise
I'm sick of this bed and this room and this mess
Where have I gone? I've lost my finesse
Discoloured marks – they cover my skin
My body is sore from my toes to my chin
I can't stop the thoughts that bleed from my mind
They rupture my health and make me unkind
I envy the grace of the leaves on the trees
Outside they dance with the flowers and bees
Why can't I be like a leaf on a tree?
I just want to be free from me.
Some days I wake and bounce out of bed
'Today is the day!' I shout in my head
Yet it doesn't take much to become disenchanted,
To put my head down, to take life for granted
With expectations as high as the clouds in the sky
Real life disappoints like an uncooked stir fry
I know what to do and how I should act
Yet the thoughts in my head keep holding me back
'Fuck you,' they say, 'there's not a thing you can do'
I just want to cry and scream out 'fuck you too'
Until I am fine I'll just sit and drink tea
One day I'll be free from me.